Thư Thủ Thỉ

Wise man said all the things that go into your pocket will not always be the things you keep. I was ingrained in a life of losing. I was believed to be a loser. Before fighting for anything, I am ready to accept letting it go. It was hard to hold on to the luck that you wish you had. I am not confident to claim things because as soon as I do that, I know it no longer belongs to me. I hate it when I was wrong, and people were right. I tried to be a superwoman while all I wanted to be was a human of having. I hate it when I have to depend on people while all I want is to have people beside me. It hurts me badly when people predict my life as a miserable piece. I used to be a little girl with all the smiles and luck. I used to be a lucky charm bring happiness to people’s lives. Then, out of the sudden, at dawn, the dark shadows, I was a rock that is coated with dust. I hate it when predictions become reality without any control. Then, I became a person in need and millions of ways out. Is the void permanent or temporary? Can I put the full stop? I am always ready to be absent rather than be present. Can I have all the good things? Pinky promise to the whole world that I can’t find a place that is carved for me. 

A prayer on the street, and a leaf falls into the hole. I saw the kindness and defeat. A woman and a man. She thought of cookies and shake milk. He thought of baking and making drinks. Unfortunately, they never meet each other. Fortunately, she finds someone to share the cookies and milk with her and chew a fat all day. He is with someone who loves baking and making drinks with him. A life full of surprises and missing. Who are these people, sometimes I may ask? 

Is it that only a fulfilled person be able to give? The thing with shopping is that, whether you want to buy it or not, it is still a trade-off. I am a star during the daytime. Will anyone ever notice me? Cheer to the giggles and light-heartedness. Take a pinch of salt and leave with a pack of sugar. 

All I want is to be a lucky charm to myself, not only to others. Can I ever be pretty? Pretty woman walks through the door and asks: Can I ever be charming?